Surviving

From July of 2004 to July 5, 2019 is where my story is. Because it’s so long and so much to cover, I’m going to take many blogs to tell you everything and I pray I may be some type of light to your situation.

I am willing to come out and speak or every flaw and mistake I have ever made. I am also willing to come out and speak of all the physical and emotional abuse. As uncomfortable as it is and the criticism I may receive, I truly pray someone can find some strength in what I went through and where it has brought me.

I have never been a person to self sympathize and, to be honest, it is extremely difficult to speak of the past. It is embarrassing that I allowed this type of lifestyle for my kids. Quite frankly, I am paying for it now. I am embarrassed of all the things I have done wrong. I wish I was a better woman for my son at the time.

Because this is so hard and I don’t know where to start, please be patient on my next blog. I want to make sure that I am strong enough to touch on the memories and I am also trying to heal.

I thought I was healed and everything was okay, until recently. I didn’t realize why picking the bacon out the grocery store still gets me nervous. I didn’t know why I felt scared when I left ,while my (new)husband was sleeping for working night shift, to bring the kids play somewhere and didn’t leave a note and possibly missed a call.

I feel we get comfortable and the things we ignored or tried not to think about, comes back to haunt us so hard. I have been working at becoming more spiritual and knowledgeable in the theology of Christianity. I realized there are some things I need to work on and change and it starts with healing. Hence, thus series of blogs.

This isn’t easy and to be quite honest, I am working on something and broadcasting it at the same time. I truly hope you are ready to embark on this journey with me if you are struggling the same or need courage to do so.

We will start this healing process together.